Fix weights/opt memory estimation

[YangFei1990]

What does this PR do ?

Fix the weight and opt memory estimation computation. Previously it counted MoE routed expert parameters together with regular transformer parameters, so per-rank weight and optimizer memory did not account for expert tensor parallelism, expert parallelism, or expert data parallelism.

This change separates regular TP-sharded parameters, replicated non-expert parameters, and routed expert parameters. Routed experts now use ETP/EP for parameter ownership and EDP for distributed optimizer sharding, while shared experts remain on regular TP.

Issue tracking

Fixes #4050

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[YangFei1990]

/claude review

[claude]

LGTM — the decomposition into TP-sharded, replicated, and routed-expert parameter categories is correct, and using separate data-parallel sizes for the distributed optimizer byte calculation is the right fix.

One suggestion: compute_weight_and_optimizer_memory has no unit tests today, and this PR rewrites most of its arithmetic. A parameterized unit test that constructs a mock args namespace and asserts known outputs for a few configurations (dense-only, MoE with ETP/EP > 1, distributed optimizer on/off, untied embeddings with PP=1) would protect against future regressions and make reviewing easier. The PR checklist also has the test boxes unchecked — worth adding before merging.

[YangFei1990]

/ok to test 60d595e