diff --git a/_mental_models/not-judging.md b/_mental_models/not-judging.md index 5c36c55..d2ca352 100644 --- a/_mental_models/not-judging.md +++ b/_mental_models/not-judging.md @@ -1,17 +1,44 @@ --- layout: mental-model name: Stop Judging -benefit: Stop Judging -summary: Coming Soon +benefit: Be more understanding +summary: It’s easier to judge than to understand. prerequisites: --- -#### Description +## Description +We judge automatically. +We judge others for what they say, how they act, how they look. We judge ourselves for mistakes, lack of discipline, awkward moments. We even judge small things, a tone of voice, a late reply, a look. -#### Practice +Judging is fast. Understanding is slower. -Find a case where you judged others, yourself, cat, anything and try to understand instead that person, understand yourself why you’re feeling what you’re feeling etc.. +When we judge, we simplify reality. When we try to understand, we expand it. Instead of labeling someone as lazy, rude, stupid, or arrogant, try asking: +_What could be the reason behind this behavior?_. Instead of saying, “I’m undisciplined” ask: _Why did I act this way? What was I feeling?_ -#### Example-1 +## Practice + +1. Find a case where you judged someone — yourself, another person, even something small like a stranger or a pet. +2. Instead of reinforcing the judgment, try to understand: + - Why might this person be acting this way? + - Why am I feeling this way? + - What assumptions am I making? + +### Example-1 + +Someone cuts you off in traffic. +- Judgment: “What an idiot.” +- Understanding: Maybe they are late for something important. Maybe they are distracted. Maybe they made a simple mistake. + +### Example-2 + +You skipped your workout. +- Judgment: “I have no discipline.” +- Understanding: Did I sleep badly? Am I mentally exhausted? Did I overload my schedule? + +### Example-3 + +A friend doesn’t reply to your message. +- Judgment: “They don’t care.” +- Understanding: They might be busy. They might be overwhelmed. They might have read it and forgotten to reply.